Banned from Walmart......I love this store.

My friend Megan emailed this to me, and I couldn't stop laughing. It really made my day, so hopefully it will make someone else laugh. This would totally be my step dad Charlie to a tee. I love you Charlie!!!!!!

BANNED FROM WAL-MART

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:


Dear Mrs. Kennedy ,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Kennedy are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. January 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . January 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. February 17: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women'srestroom.

4. March 1: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, Code3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. March 14: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's onlayaway.

6. April 5: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. April 23: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from thebedding department.

8. May 9: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. May 17: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. May 30: While handling guns in the hunting department, he askedthe clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. June 12: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. June 23: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. July 2: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. July 9: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a Fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least.

15. July 15: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, thenyelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'